Speaker 1: 00:03
YNA is a podcast that focuses on mental health and other aspects relating to what goes on inside a person's head. We are by no means professionals in this field and only aim to make these conversations about mental health easier for the listener. Nothing we say or talk about is professional advice unless explicitly mentioned. If you seek professional advice or experience symptoms of an actual mental health disorder, please contact a professional or visit your closest center for behavioral health. You are not alone.
Speaker: 00:30
Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to You Are Not Alone. And this time, our topic is self-esteem. So before we get started, I want to read the definition of what self-esteem is. Let us know. In psychology, the term self-esteem is used to describe a person's overall sense of self-worth or personal value. In other words, how much you appreciate and like yourself and involves a variety of beliefs about yourself, such as the appraisal of your own appearance, beliefs, emotions, and behaviors. How do you feel about that definition?
Speaker 2: 01:04
Uh seems pretty spot on. I mean, of course, self-esteem is all just decided by all that. Do you love yourself, Shannon? Uh, I think to some extent, but it definitely took some some work and it it just took a lot to get to this point of where, like, you know, I'm okay with myself to say the least. Uh, but yeah, I would I would definitely say at this point I I do I do love myself.
Speaker: 01:30
I never I never loved myself in the beginning. I had to learn, I think everybody learns to love themselves. And then you find your own way of loving yourself, especially if you find something that really, really helps you boost your confidence about yourself. Mine is taking pictures, doing podcasts, listening to music helps me raise my self-esteem. I love when the rappers and they all like talk about the good things about themselves. Like, I get it. I understand that some of them are bragging or whatever, but at the end of at the end of it all, like they're doing something that they love to do that helps them boost their confidence and helps them get a better mental health.
Speaker 2: 02:12
Yeah. So so what you're saying is that it like essentially is just like finding your purpose in life, feeding into it and you know, kind of going out of your way and doing things that that really bring up your mood and things like that. But on the other side of that spectrum, what would you say would be the things that kind of deter you from feeling this way or having that self-confidence? Like what what what could be the exact opposite of a confidence boost for you?
Speaker: 02:42
The people around you and the criticism that you hear sometimes. I think criticism plays a very important role in how you look at yourself, how well you take criticism. If you take criticism like it's something that actually helps you boost your confidence, because I know there's there's things like if someone were to comment something about this podcast and tell me things of ways that I could do this better, that would be great. And I mean, I understand that's criticism or that's an opinion, yeah, but that's important because if you want to advance in life, you do need opinions, you do need your criticism, but hopefully, because when I say criticism, it sounds like such a bad word.
Speaker 2: 03:21
Yeah, well, I mean, there there's criticism and then there's constructive criticism. And I think constructive criticism really is like it's just something that's needed. I mean, at times it can be harsh, but uh it's definitely not just the raw form of criticism where you you're not kind of adding in your two cents to something and just kind of putting somebody down.
Speaker: 03:42
So social media doesn't help at all. Oh, it definitely does not, especially not not in today's world, not in today's world at all. I feel like everybody's and honestly, like I'll I'll say it straight on this podcast. I've I've been like that on social media. Oh, yeah. How many likes I get, comments I get, who's following me, what I'm because it's all about your self-image. And social media has this other world where you can create your own self-image. If you don't like what you see in the mirror, you can create a whole different self-image on social media and people can look at you a complete other way.
Speaker 2: 04:15
Yeah, I did I definitely think that uh social media in today's world definitely feeds into those really high highs that we can get. But on the other end, it really gives us those low lows when you're you're down and out, like you're you're just going out bad, and maybe that one person didn't like what you posted, or these kind of like little like mental games that social media plays.
Speaker: 04:41
It's the mental games that really affect you the most that affect your mental health. So if you're listening to this and you're on social media right now, stop, put down your phone, take a deep breath, and please allow yourself a break from that negative mental health status that you keep receiving from Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, whatever you use. Sometimes it can be good, sometimes it helps boost confidence, of course. But at the same time, when you ask for something, it's gonna ask for something back. And it's gonna it could possibly hurt you in the end. So please be careful. If you do use a lot of social media, I completely understand. I'm a huge Instagram guy, I love Instagram, one of my favorite apps. However, I know there's things and the way that they try to attract you and how they attract you, and it can really hurt. So please be careful out there. One thing I do have to say, another quote, self-esteem can play a significant role in your motivation and success throughout your life. Low self-esteem may hold you back from succeeding at school or work because you don't believe yourself to be capable of success. And you should never think that. Because having the capabilities of having success is really important. And remember, you can achieve success in anything you do. If someone else did it, you can do it too. And if someone else hasn't done it, then you can also succeed at it too. Don't allow negativity and people telling you you can't and hurting your confidence. Don't allow people to do that to you because you can do whatever you set your mind to. I promise you, allow yourself to think that you can do whatever you set your mind to. Please remember that.
Speaker 2: 06:31
Also, um, I would like to talk about the other aspect of self-esteem. Kind of going a little bit away from social media. What what are things in your everyday life that jumping back to the the topic of like how it affects you? I I would like to like kind of talk about the more positive effect like something in your daily life can have on you. Like what what what are some things that you could uh run into?
Speaker: 06:55
You know what's crazy when you walk past somebody and they smile at you. Oh yeah, and you feel like you feel a little bit better. Like I don't know what it is. Like when I'm confident when that's yeah, it's a confident when someone walks past you and they smile at you, it just like I smile back, of course. Sometimes I'm just I'm not even paying attention, and I'm just like, oh, that person smiled at me. Oh, I'm gonna smile at the next person. You honestly, the next time you're walking down the street, just smile at somebody. Like, and just because you don't understand how much that can help. Someone became going through the roughest day of their life, and just because you smiled at them, that short two seconds could have just pretty much helped boost their confidence and their self-esteem just a little bit more. So please be positive in just not only your body language, but also your facial expressions, because it's important for other people as well that are hurting. What do you do that you think uh helps boost your confidence or self-esteem?
Speaker 2: 07:50
Um, I think that definitely just like doing things that I love to do, like making music or drawing or anything like that, you know, maybe talking to my significant other or watching videos on YouTube, anything like that that that I can kind of like put into my own hands of how like I mold how my day is gonna be and how I'm gonna feel. But just like you mentioned, like kind of like that little act of kindness, whether it's smiling at somebody or receiving a smile or somebody waving at you like as you're driving by, like that's it, it's definitely a good boost to how you feel throughout the day. But another thing that I do, like, you know, if I'm feeling like I'm kind of in a low spot or low point in life, yeah, I sometimes just go on like walks and try to do like some activity to separate my thoughts, kind of like just go more towards a muscle memory of something that I'm doing. So whether it's like walking or I'm playing basketball or something like that, something along those lines, definitely setting yourself up to the point like where you're not really thinking that deeply can like help you. Cause I mean, sometimes like you're just alone in like, you know, all you have are negative thoughts, like fucking like in that Joker movie, like he says, in retrospect, it it's a little bit comedic, but it is actually like a line that holds a lot of truth. It's just one of those things where it it's just all about the way that you set yourself up. Of course, uh, another factor could be those random people you walk by, things like that. But well what about yourself? Like what are what what are things that you could do?
Speaker: 09:24
So I have a list of what high self-esteem looks like and what negative self-esteem looks like. And so this is for everybody. If you don't know if you have high self-esteem or low self-esteem, so we're gonna start with high self-esteem. You avoid dwelling on past negative experiences, express your needs, feel confident, have a positive outlook on life, say no when you want to, see overall strengths and weaknesses, and accept them. And the negative and the low self-esteem aspects are you believe that others are better than you, you find it difficult expressing your needs, you focus on your weaknesses, you frequently experience feelings such as shame, depression, or anxiety, you have a negative outlook on life, you have an intense fear of failure, you have trouble accepting positive feedback, you have trouble saying no, you put other people's needs before your own, you struggle with confidence. That's kind of crazy how the negative list is way longer than so much more on it. It's just so you feel like the way that a negative thought has the impact on your mental mindset is massive. So remember, when you do have a negative thought that pops up into your head, if you reinforce that right away with a positive outlook, you can change the way you're thinking.
Speaker 2: 10:43
Oh, yeah, like 100%, you'll be 10 times better. Yeah. Like, no, no, like no matter what else like goes on on throughout the rest of your day. And I think uh that it's also important to mention that like if you fit into one of these categories and you're leaning more towards the negative side, I it shouldn't be one of those things that you know you should be kind of thinking down on yourself for even being in that category and and you just not really realizing it. But it if any of those kind of like resonated in your soul, like that they're resonated in your persona, just take the time to do those said things that we mentioned that you can do, like those mental exercises, or you know, take a moment, take, take a break, like go go out and do what you love to do because really this is your life and it's not dictated by how others live it for you. And I mean, I think sometimes when you're in that negative headspace, it's just really easy to kind of spiral down and out, and it's just it's not a good experience. So, so r really the one of the main first steps is just having the confidence to get yourself there and to do these mental exercises or you know, basically just go out and have what you view as your idea of fun.
Speaker: 12:00
Exactly. Do something that helps you maybe even become a better person again, smiling on the streets when you walk past someone, just being kind, helping open a door for somebody else. Just being kind can do so much for your mental health, just making someone else's day can can bring you energy. And a lot, and it's crazy how we think like opening a door for somebody or some like those small acts can have such reflections of how important mental health is. If you can, if you can just do the small things, you don't even have to do big things. You don't like to bike, you don't like it. I get it. I understand there's a lot of things, and when negative thoughts take over, it's hard. It is hard, it's hard to think positively. I completely understand. I've been there, I've I've downed myself to points where I've known that this is this is bad, and I get it, and it's hard to pull yourself out. But really, if you can just focus on just the small things and build at it, because if you do the small things every day, they're gonna add up to something big one day. Yeah, and they're gonna be big feelings of kindness for yourself, and positive outlooks on life are important. I I get it, the world is not in the most beautiful place right now, clearly. But there's no point of being a pessimist and looking at the negative outlook in life. I would rather be positive and be wrong than be negative and right. So, what I'm gonna say now is I've always got your back. I'm here for you. You're not alone in this fight. Don't think you're alone in this fight, because I got you. How does that sound, Shine?
Speaker 2: 13:46
I think that was very well put. Thank you so much for speaking on self esteem. Thanks for listening, guys. I'll catch you on the next episode. See you later.