Speaker: 00:03
YNA is a podcast that focuses on mental health and other aspects relating to what goes on inside a person's head. We are by no means professionals on this field and only aim to make these conversations about mental health easier for the listener. Nothing we say or talk about is professional advice unless explicitly mentioned. If you seek professional advice or experience symptoms of an actual mental health disorder, please contact a professional or visit your closest center for behavioral health. You are not alone.
Speaker 1: 00:28
Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to YNA You Are Not Alone. Today's topic is introverts and extroverts.
Speaker: 00:35
What are you guys' opinions on that? I think with introvert versus extrovert, we really realize what kind of personality we have, especially in social settings. When we're in a setting and we're with people that we've never met before, some people become shy butterflies and some people go out of their way to start conversations. And when we have those, we have two different types of people. There's the shy butterflies named introverts and the social butterflies that are extroverts. With extrovert versus introvert, we get in between this difficulty of trying to understand which one we are. And I personally know which one I am. Cheyenne personally knows which one he is. We kind of don't know what you are. Yeah. And if you want to kind of introduce yourself and just explain what you're doing and what's going on in your life before we get started and go into the topic, but we would love to hear like, how do you what do you think of introvert versus extroverts?
Speaker 1: 01:39
Well, on the topic of introverts and extroverts, I think a lot of studies that are done on the topic tend to woo certain opinions on what extroverts actually are versus what introverts actually are. And I feel like generally you're not just one or the other, you're a combination of both. And that's what I personally feel like what I am for the studies that I was referencing. You know, any any studies online, they're usually done in a social setting, how a person does in a social setting to equate to whether they're an extrovert or an introvert. And I don't like that because if you you know do certain things that haven't introverts, like would label they would label you as an introvert if you did certain things, and that's fine, but like that label now you think you're an introvert when you still have some extrovert personalities.
Speaker 2: 02:32
So with that being said, um of course we all have different uh qualities in the extrovert and introvert section. Uh, would you say that you lean more towards one side, or are you like a mix of both?
Speaker 1: 02:50
I am a mix of both, but I would lean more towards introvert over extrovert. I would say maybe it's a 60-40 split, if anything, maybe even 55-45, because it's very close. I've seen myself in multiple situations. And when I was talking about, you know, the stuff and the studies that they do to label like people as an extrovert or an introvert, I kind of think of like there's that picture referencing equality. It's like there's a tree in front of a bunch of different animals, fish, elephants, monkeys, and they say climb that tree, and we'll label you how good you are based on your ability to climb this tree. So a lot of the studies being done are done in social settings to label you as an extrovert or introvert. And there's no not many studies that are in sort of a personal introvert sort of setting to label you as an introvert or an extrovert. It seems like a lot of the studies are done one way. And not that that's not fair and it doesn't show anything, it definitely shows something, but it it's hard to just label somebody as one or the other when I think everybody, whether they think they're one or the other, is sort of a mix of both. They have mental aspects of both. So I know there are some like mental differences. I don't know if you wanted to like expand on that.
Speaker: 04:04
So a question that has come up is are extroverts happier than introverts? Because they say with social interaction, it stimulates the mind to a point of where serotonin gets released, and they say that a lot of extroverts are more happier, quote unquote, uh, over um people that are introverts. I think though, it becomes honestly a scenario basis where it depends on where I am, what I'm doing, and who I'm with. I feel if if someone just threw me in the middle of the road and was like, go make like a bunch of friends, like it would be extremely difficult. And I guess the introvert inside of me would just like explode to just stick to my grounding because I'm not comfortable. But when I am in comfortable situations, like when I'm at my friends with a bar and they're like, go talk to that pretty girl over there, the extrovert comes out of me and it's like, okay, yeah, sure, I'm gonna go be this social butterfly, and I'm just gonna go meet whoever I can because I'm comfortable in the situation that I am in. But Shine, let me ask you that. Um, how do you feel? Are extroverts happier than introverts?
Speaker 2: 05:11
Uh, I don't think that we can kind of call one or the other happier than the other because it's just a different type of lifestyle, or like you make different life choices. And again, like we of course we cater to both sides, maybe one maybe lean more towards another. But it really just depends how you go about your day. Because I know some people who label themselves as more more of an introvert who are still relatively happy, and I know extroverts who are unhappy. So you can't really just point at one side and be like, for sure, they're unhappy, or or anything like that, really.
Speaker: 05:55
I also think with extroverts, like the happiness could be fake because we do have this social butterfly that's in us and we do get the mental stimulation, but then we try to put ourselves in this positive mindset of always trying to stay positive and always trying to be uh mentally stimulating ourselves by talking to other people that we make our lives seem like this beautiful world when sometimes like it really isn't. Like honestly, like I've been in situations where I have to say, like, I was like, Oh yeah, like I'm gonna go and talk to all these new people and get all these new people. But on the inside, I was actually extremely depressed on just the feelings that I was having. And the mental stimulation didn't help, like it was just there just to make me feel comfortable. But on the inside, like I was hurting from other things, so I think it was like a huge distraction that helped me focus not on what was going on inside of my life, but I don't think, like, like we said, I don't think there can be a measure of extroverts being happier than introverts just because of this whole talk of they've talked to more people, so that's what makes them happy when I've been like, like I said, in situations where like I've talked to a lot of people, but I wasn't very happy. So where do we go from here? Like, we we live in a society where like we're named either one and we're either splitting onto the sides of Will where he spills over to one side more than he spills over to the other. How do we though express ourselves if if you are an introvert, how can I help you pull out the extrovert inside of you? Because I feel like if we do discuss this, then we might actually have both inside of us instead of just one.
Speaker 2: 07:37
Like, I think one of the big things that in well today's society needs to be more geared towards is just breaking through that kind of barrier where they just kind of label you like there's only two labels, introvert, extrovert, like we'll was saying before. Uh like you can be a little bit of both, but when it comes down to how you're comfortable in a situation, you just need to know which lane you kind of go towards. Like how we were saying, you could be an extrovert, unhappy, you could be introvert, happy. Like the categorization doesn't really make you who you are, it's just how you are comfortable in a situation. So, like extroverts, they need to, or what how we label extroverts, I really feel like they need to be out and about more to feed into their happiness, to really get into the happier side of them, where introverts are pretty okay with how things are, like on their own, or they're completely fine with just having some alone time or just chilling at home, doing something, cooking, or whatever it is that introverts do. And it's really just again how you go about your day that really dictates how happy you can be or how unhappy you can be. But one of the biggest things I would like to touch on is just don't like read something and just think that you're one. Go out and try some things. Like maybe there are some extrovert type situations that you'll be more comfortable in and some introvert situations that you'd be more comfortable in. It's just all about catering to yourself and being comfortable with being open to other options or just finding out what your life means to you.
Speaker: 09:24
Well, so when you are in a situation, um, what kind of situations do you need to be in for your extrovert to be pulled out? And what kind of situation do you need to be in for your introvert to be pulled out? Like, because you are spilling on both sides.
Speaker 1: 09:37
Yeah. Uh it's it's really hard to say, and I I can't even I can't put my finger on it. You know, like we're here in this social setting, this podcast doing this now, where like maybe an introvert would be maybe like afraid to speak or say something. But in my in my mind, I'm just I'm just going. I, you know, I'm okay with it. And if it was a big way, way bigger with like say there was 20 of us here, maybe there would be a little anxiety at first, but I would still have that mental attitude to say, screw it, let's let's record something. But in the form of any social situation, there's no, to me, specific point where I'm like, okay, I'm introvert, I'm I'm chilling for the night. Like maybe if I'm in like a depressed mood or something, might maybe I'll be like a little more introvert for the night. But like I would still go. There's no, I might be in one minute very introvert talking to nobody, but then all of a sudden I just flip the switch and I'm okay with talking to everybody. There's no, it it feels like a switch to me. There's no specific point that I can mark to say, like, I am an extrovert here, I'm an introvert here. It's just random. But rather than random, it's more like I feel like I'm in control of it and I can choose when to like let go, but it's that choosing to let go is as the factor. You just have to be okay with new situations as well as okay with yourself. Like for introverts, like it's very general being in our minds is more enjoyable than social or any other physical pleasures. And so that's where introverts might might reside and that might struggle in those social situations because they're better with themselves, they would rather be alone. But if you want to be more extrovert or add something to someone else's conversation and come out more, you know, whatever, in whatever social situation that may be, you I think it's important to be okay with yourself, but also be okay with yourself in a way that is like you don't care what other people think. So I think that's kind of like a big factor. Once you don't care what other people think, it's way easier to open up more and be more extrovert if you are an introvert. Because as long as you're okay with yourself, I think you're okay with anyone, whether they are okay with you or not okay with you, you're just able to say, Yeah, screw it, or like, thank you, whatever.
Speaker: 11:52
That's a quality that I think I definitely a hundred percent need to work on is that quality of understanding that not to care what other people think, because we fall into the spectrum of like an introvert is someone who is inside their head. And so when they get into a situation where they need to talk to somebody else, they feel as if I don't want to feel or think about what that other person is going to think about me. But when you're an extrovert, you don't care about that feeling. And so when you are in a situation where you do need to talk to somebody else, the thought of them thinking about what they think about you just kind of disappears, and you're in this situation of I can easily have a conversation. Explain to me the feeling though. I want to understand what goes through your head, and and like you can express it to me. Like when I talk to somebody new, it's this like surging feeling of energy entering into my body, like, and I feel more excited. My brain goes into this uh form of I just need to ask them all these questions, and okay, I need to get like it's it's like opening up a new book for me. Like when I talk to somebody new, it's like this feeling of cracking open the first page and just getting at it and starting to understand. But I would love to understand like your feeling.
Speaker 1: 13:09
So I think right before like if I were to start a conversation with anyone new, I am not excited at first. I'm actually I I would classify it as being more annoyed, but not like like pissed off annoyed. I'm just like, like I like I don't go out of my way to have these conversations unless I'm brought to somebody, or maybe I see somebody having like a time like like in a social situation, maybe I see somebody sitting alone. Like I'll go try to get them to join in. But first off, I don't think there's any point where I'm just introvert or extrovert. There's a lot of tendencies that have a lot of situations that have both. And I think almost 100% of the time I am a percentage of both at the same time because usually with introverts, they overthink things. You know, anxiety might play a big factor. They think of all possible outcomes, they think of what people might think about them. And like, I'm not perfect with that either. I still think all the time about what like other people think about me, even though I might have said, like, you know, it's important not to care. Like I try to do that, but you know, no one's perfect with that. And everybody struggles with that in their own way. Um, but extroverts, on the other hand, whenever they have any social situation or maybe they're doing something stupid and dangerous, you know, they don't really think about it. They they thrive on the pleasures of the unknown, kind of. And I also thrive on that too. But if we were to say, like, do anything dangerous, the amount of scenarios that would go in my head about what's gonna go wrong, why we shouldn't do this, but then I'll go do it anyway because it's awesome. You know, but like it's it's weird because then if something bad does happen, I'm prepared for when something bad does happen and my introvert can take over and mix more than the extrovert would come out. And I can say, okay, this is what we're gonna do, this is how we're gonna handle it, this is what's best to do right now. But if nothing does happen and it's just a really good time, I can still enjoy that time we spent doing something. So there's no specific feeling other than like every situation I might have, I would just describe it as it always begins with anxiety and struggle, but then you get over it and it you become a little more extrovert and you enjoy it. There's no like in between. So it would start as more of an introvert, introvert feeling where I might be afraid to do something or engage in a conversation, but I would just get over it because I'm okay with like I might even personally, I might not even be okay with like how I look, how I learn, how I do certain things that other people might find weird or the way I talk. It doesn't matter. But as long as you are generally okay and you just do not care what other people think, and just say, like, you know what, if they don't, if they don't like me, they don't like me, then you'll get over that anxiety quicker. And that's kind of what leads me to be a little more extrovert once I get over that feeling. It's just like, oh, maybe they're a cool guy, or oh, he's a jerk, I'm not gonna talk to him. Like, whatever. It doesn't affect me. Is that how you feel, Cheyenne?
Speaker 2: 16:05
Yeah, I mean, I can agree with uh most of what he's saying. I think the question that I have now is that for both sides, the kind of negative side of both sides, would you say that an extrovert would care more about what would happen if they didn't do something, and then an introvert would care about people's opinions of what would happen if they did end up doing something? You know, you know what I mean? And then also with that being said, because I I feel like this falls into a broad category of people who just fall into what society labels them as. How do you think somebody like that can get out of that situation, or how can they feel better about it to be on the more positive side of that kind of like label? Because I mean, obviously, in society, all these labels can really lead you down a path, then it's not like you really wanted to go there, it's just how society really puts you in this community.
Speaker: 17:11
So and as we talk, like I'm learning more, and it feels like this introvert versus extrovert is really what the feeling of what we think other people are gonna think about us in that situation. So maybe if someone is an introvert and they're in a situation where they're thinking about what the other person is going to think about them, I believe the best way in that situation is to find something that you both comfortably connect with. And it's and the most difficult part is asking the questions, but the best part is when you have a conversation with somebody brand new, and just say you find out that you like something that they like, or they have the same music taste as you do, or they have the same um fashion company that they both like, or the podcast that they enjoy. I think that brings this feeling of comfortability towards each other so that you can continue uh better conversations. So maybe find figure out like core questions that you feel are important to ask for your personal benefit. So I think one important question that I love to always ask is what's your music taste? Because I can really jump off of a bunch of other categories to like get the conversation flowing. So it feels as if like, oh, if they like electronic dance music, like, oh, I would love to talk to them about the festivals that they go to. But figure out something that you really enjoy to do, like um whether it's the conversation needs to be pointed in a direction of how you feel, or if it's a kind of conversation that needs to be pointed more onto broad questions. It's up to you. But what I think the point that we get to is the feeling of comfortability. And the second you feel like comfortable with someone, it's this weird feeling of like connection. Like you're just like, I can talk to this person about anything. And I get like when you're in a like a random situation with somebody brand new, you're not gonna feel comfortable right away. Like that's really, really hard to do. But maybe ask the questions that you do feel comfortable with, like that do make you more comfortable. So, are there like any questions that you could stick to in your core self that you believe would help a conversation flow while meeting somebody new?
Speaker 2: 19:28
I mean, I'm sure it just really depends on the person and then the vibe that they're giving off. Because really you don't really know them, so you're just kind of going with the flow. Like, it doesn't really matter if you're introvert or extrovert. So yeah, it's just one of those things where you just have to play it by ear. One thing I did want to touch on was when it comes to friendships, I feel like a lot of the stigma behind it is that introverts and extroverts don't get along. And I I just want to tell the audience out there, like, Cena views himself as more of an extrovert, and I'm more of an introvert, and we get along just fine. Like, we we are the best of friends on the best of days, you know what I mean? So how would you how would you tell like somebody who like kind of views that kind of situation in that light? Like, how do you think they can improve on that situation?
Speaker: 20:27
It's you need to look past the labels because the other person across from you is just another human being. The label of putting someone as an introvert versus extrovert, it's just like this feeling of um you're this and I'm that. And so that means that we can't do this or we can't do that. As an extrovert, the most beautiful thing is just having a conversation. And so you should be able to just have a conversation with anybody. And I've become so comfortable with you to the point where it's just like our conversations, like whatever it is, like it just flows naturally. And so, like, I don't think you should if someone's looking at the point where I'm an extrovert, I can't really be friends with introvert, I dare you to go up to somebody and just not try to sense their vibe, not try to feel out anything about them. Just start a conversation and just see where it goes and just see if you two flow together. Because I think it's all about the flow and understanding the other person before throwing the label of introvert versus extrovert. No matter what, as an extrovert, you're gonna gain energy from a new conversation. And anything about an introvert, you're going to end up having this new connection and this new bond that you may not feel comfortable and you may feel shy about. But the most beautiful thing is that I feel extroverts are like this hand that reaches out to introverts. And once an introvert grabs the hand, it they feel like the extrovert is pulling the introvert into this extrovert cocoon. And you're both in like this little shell with each other. Like, like I've had a lot of friends who have told me like. Cena, you pull me out of my like shy shell. Like you put me into situations where you pull me out of that, and that's what I love, you know? Like, because I I don't always want to be shy. I've never heard of an introvert saying, I want to stay at home for the rest of my life and not talk to anybody, not meet anybody new, and just be like sad or be like by myself being a recruitment. Exactly. We need human interaction. So I have to ask you, Will, how do you feel about that between the extrovert versus introvert?
Speaker 1: 22:27
In terms of like being friends or meeting someone new? Yes. I think kind of like introverts and extroverts, I feel like both have a problem with themselves. And I think everybody just naturally has their own problem with who they are and being okay with themselves. And that's fine. Everybody works on that in different ways. And I think extroverts are a lot better at getting past that and you know, just like you said, having a conversation or pulling someone else out of their shell. But I think both are responsible at some points for judging one or the other and preventing that from happening. And then you, because you have judged them so early, you are now stuck with that sense in your mind for whatever the rest of time. You will forever think this person is this person. And you know, for example, like in high school, but I I wasn't like bullied like crazy, or I wasn't like Mr. Popular or anything, you know, like there were always pairs of people that either like I labeled as, oh, these kids are jerks, or labeled as, oh, these kids are pretty cool. Like I would like to hang out with them, you know, not necessarily like my friends, but just random people, people who I didn't talk to. Um, but like at the point in my life now, I'm just like, oh, well, if I ever met any of those kids who were jerks to someone else in high school, like I would present myself the same way I would to anyone else and just try to have a conversation or just talk with them in any way. I don't want to, I I reserve judgment for later. And I think that's a problem a lot of people have now is usually you judge too fast, and that's what might prevent these types of friendships from happening. And on the on the flip side, I think so. I I think extroverts don't necessarily understand introverts. And as, you know, a split of both, I don't either. I don't know what the hell's going on sometimes. But I think introverts are just a lot more comfortable with themselves. And, you know, they might see like social media and like these extroverts who are who are appearing to be extroverts but are actually introverts, um, having like the time of their lives, but they're actually deeply depressed inside, but and so they're actually not happy. But that's just because they don't understand why they're depressed or they don't look for those answers because extroverts don't need to. They don't, they don't necessarily care all that much about looking inside themselves and looking inside their own head. But introverts are really good at that. And even though they might be depressed, they might be happy because they know why they're depressed, they're making changes, so they're able to act on it. And that could have another implication on like friendships. Like they might see these extroverts who are super happy, but they're actually, you know, super sad. But in their mind, they're very happy. They're having the time of their lives, they're posting all these great photos on social media, you know, anything. Um, and then they might see these introverts as they might judge them as like less than, like they're not doing, you know, as much as I'm doing, they're not going out as much at me. Like that might be a label to a status um of a certain quo that they follow in their head, like, oh, well, if you don't party, then you're not, you know, you're an you're an introvert. If you don't hardcore party, you're an introvert. And I think that prevents friendships in a way where, so actually, this extrovert person is very depressed, and this introvert person is actually very depressed, but the introvert is okay with themselves, and they might be able to help this extrovert look inside their own head and understand why they're depressed and help them get better. But because the, you know, the extrovert um might not like that and might fight back against someone who's introvert, or the introvert might not actually know that those that person is depressed. There's kind of this miscommunication with, you know, how do we, how do we relate to each other? And they avoid talking about them, you know, themselves personally, because as an introvert, you don't like conversation that much. And as an extrovert, you may lie about your current status on how happy you are. And then that that inner inner self is never realized by one or the other, and you can't say, like, oh, so we're both depressed or we're both that feeling this way, this is how we can connect. It's never gonna happen because either one will never admit the correct thing that will correlate with the other. So I think it's I think it goes a lot deeper, but uh, if that makes sense, I don't know.
Speaker: 26:30
Oh, yeah. It really does make sense. And the feeling of depression, I think it with depression, it's it doesn't matter whether you're an extrovert or introvert. Like depression has its own way of creeping up on you and who you are as a human being. Um again, that's a whole different ballpark uh to have a discussion about. However, it really does come down to the factor of um understanding who you are. And um as human beings, the most difficult part is just learning about yourself, loving yourself, and understanding what you can do to become just a better you. And whether that's labeling yourself as an extrovert or introvert, whatever makes you feel a little bit um better to understand yourself a little bit better, like it's completely understandable. However, when you are out there and you are having conversations with people that you don't know, always remember this. Don't, first of all, don't do a whole judge like process of being like, this person's probably not gonna want to talk to me, or this person's an introvert and I'm an extrovert. It's just not gonna work. The conversation's not gonna happen. Or you have that prejudgment of uh I don't want to know how that person feels about me or how they're gonna think about me. Um, just let that slip out of your mind and go back to the core questions that we talked about. Something that makes you comfortable, something that makes you feel a little bit more like yourself. And if you do that, I promise you, you're gonna see changes in your life that you've never seen before. Because it all, if if I never went up to Cheyenne in the cafeteria in high school and I just had a started having a conversation, we would not be here. If I never met Will, I would not be having this conversation, I would not be where I am today. There's a lot of aspects in my life that I realized if I didn't have that conversation, I would not be the point where I am. So always remember this a conversation can truly change a lot. And so if you're just willing to start with the simple things, then hey, you never know where that conversation could lead you. But I do want to remind you one thing, and I always love to remind you about this. Please, please, please, please remember that you are not alone in this fight. I I'm here. We are here to help you discover new things about yourself. Um, and we really can't wait to see you guys in the next episode. Catch you later.