Speaker 1: 00:04
YNA is a podcast that focuses on mental health and other aspects related to what goes on inside a person's head. We are by no means professionals on this field and only aim to make these conversations about mental health easier for the listening. Nothing we say or talk about is professional advice unless we explicitly mention. If you seek professional advice or experience symptoms of an actual mental health disorder, please contact a professional or visit your closest center for behavioral health. You are not alone.
Speaker: 00:28
Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to You Are Not Alone. Episode on Burnout, aka Part 2 of Perfectionism.
Speaker 1: 00:40
Burnout is difficult, dude. I felt I have felt burnout in so many different situations in my life, going from schooling, my work, art, relationships, friends. It's difficult. What are your thoughts on burnout?
Speaker: 00:59
Well, with burnout, you always feel like you can't do something that you're used to doing. And really it's just rock bottom, but mentally. Like it doesn't mean that everything's going wrong in your life. It's just more about how you feel and how you feel about what you can accomplish throughout the day.
Speaker 1: 01:24
So the definition of burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and often physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged or repeated stress. Though it's most often caused by problems at work, it can also appear in the other areas of life, such as parenting, caretaking, or romantic relationships. Now tell me a situation in your life where you did feel burnout.
Speaker: 01:44
I would say with music, I was trying to make something every day, whether it was a beat or a song, uh, j just for an example. And it got to the point where even though I was putting in all this work, it felt like I wasn't accomplishing what I wanted to. And I was in this sort of mental limbo when it came to how I felt about my own work and how much energy I put into it. And after a while, it just kind of affects your your whole workflow, um, what you like to get done, what you want to accomplish. And it's almost like a downhill slope for that exact thing on what what you can accomplish.
Speaker 1: 02:33
How did you know you were burned out? Like, what point did you realize you were like, I'm burnt out?
Speaker: 02:40
I would say after a couple of days of feeling the same way, because of course we all have those days where we feel a little bit down or don't really want to do anything, we just lay around, something like that. But sometimes it would get to the point where, hey, it's been a week, it's been a month that I'm feeling this way. And it's really tough because obviously you want to be doing your best. And if you're a perfectionist, this ties in directly with it because you're always on this grind and you always want to accomplish something. You always want to be perfect at everything that you do.
Speaker 1: 03:22
And be perfect all the time. You know what I mean? You you want to be, you want to continue your perfection, and you want to continue working at this 100% level at all times. Exactly. But you'll you'll reach a boundary and you'll reach a wall where you aren't sure whether you can continue on with the same piece of work at 100% of your of your energy. So I'm trying to figure out how can I help my burnout, but at the same time continue going without allowing burnout to ruin my work and to not allow it to distress me, hurt my friendships, hurt my relationships. I think what we become so apparent and so comfortable with when it comes to burnouts is not understanding when to say no to something. I think what especially when you're a perfectionist, you're working at your art, you're creating whatever you're creating, and you keep telling yourself, this could get better. This I'm gonna keep pushing, I'm gonna keep pulling, and I'm gonna keep thinking that this is actually going to get better. When really it's you need that break. You truly need 100%. What I learned about crazy investors like Warren Buffett, Steve Jobs, um, Bill Gates, they all had a nap room. So they would all take naps during the day so that they could reset and be fresh. Because they realized that in this world, in this industry, and in the things that we do in life, we reach a point of mental exhaustion where that mental exhaustion is just going to lead to more of a decline rather than an incline. And everybody gets to a point where they think their decline is going to actually switch to an incline when a decline never switches into an incline without the proper rest and the proper care for your mental health.
Speaker: 05:26
It's almost like a workaholic who doesn't even know that they're almost working themselves into the ground. No, 100%.
Speaker 1: 05:35
And it's the hardest thing to take that break because you never, ever, ever want to keep you never want to stop on working on your art or working on whatever you're working on.
Speaker: 05:45
Oh no, never. Never. And some of the things that I do to kind of break away from this mental state of mind, I at least have two or more different things that I can bounce back and forth on. So let's say I'm doing music one day, I'm drawing the next, or I'm going out uh doing whatever, trying to accomplish something. Because once one thing stops working, and if you, you know, you're trying to manage your time and also maintain your mental health, you just move away from the one thing that is kind of bringing you down in life at the moment, and then you go on to the next thing that you have set up. I'm not saying leave it behind and forget about it. It's just sometimes your maximum effort in one area is not going to necessarily mean that you will get 100% what you're looking for out of that. That's why you want to go and you want to find these other things. Occupy your time with other things that make you happy. And that's kind of what helps you get out of that cycle.
Speaker 1: 06:58
How did you find the other things that made you happy? I think because once somebody sticks to one thing, they just keep going and they don't know how to switch their brain into like liking something else and working on something else.
Speaker: 07:12
I think the main thing is curiosity. And in general, humans are very curious creatures. But really, you just have to, in order to enjoy something fully, there has to be some part of you that really enjoys it. Like I'm not going to go do something that I don't like or I don't have an interest in just because I can't I'm not accomplishing my goals in this other aspect, this other realm of something in my life.
Speaker 1: 07:45
Let me let me take burnout as an example. I'm gonna give everyone an example. And this is the kind of thing that I think about. I think of burnout as a race car or your life as a race car. And on those four tires are one, your first tire is emotional, your second tire is physical, your third tire is spiritual, while your fourth tire is your soul. And when you're taking this road of life and you're going at high speeds, as your tires slowly get more and more hot, they start wielding away more and more. And at one point, you have to switch those tires because if you don't, you'll end up going through life on this road of life with no tires. So let me ask you, how far does a car go with no tires? It gets nowhere.
Speaker: 08:33
You get nowhere, barely a couple feet. Exactly. Not even off the ground.
Speaker 1: 08:38
No, and you need to switch these tires and give them the brakes that they need so that they can keep going on this road of life. So some things I do when I get to a point of burnout and I'm exhausted and I just need to figure a way out, I do other things, like I do other activities, but sometimes just giving yourself the day off. And I get it, doing nothing does get boring and it gets frustrating. And you can and I'm the kind of person who when I do nothing, I get frustrated because I want to always be doing something. I always want to be productive, I always want to be efficient. But I realized the way to be productive and efficient at all times is to do, is to give yourself a day to do nothing. You need to your brain, your brain isn't able to go at 100% at all times. This race car of life or this race car that you have going through life can't go a hundred miles an hour every single day at every single time and every single second. If you don't allow yourself to really focus on the break and taking a step back, then you're gonna reach a point where your race car is gonna catch on fire and then you're gonna explode, and then that explosion is going to end up hurting your friendships, your relationships. And on top of that, having this kind of mental state leads you to depression, it leads you to anxiety, it leads you into this dark world that you are going to have a worse time in. But if you would have just told yourself, I need to go into the cockpit real quick, switch my tires out, take the break I need, and then go. That's how you get through, that's how you can do it. I I think Yeah.
Speaker: 10:30
Cause I mean, like again with the the whole race car analogy, it's like after a while you lose the tread on your tires and you have no control. It's the same with your life. Keep doing something over and over again, no control of where your emotions are going. And it's just something that needs to be worked on if you're having trouble in that area.
Speaker 1: 10:55
How do you improve your work life balance? Is there anything that you do? Because I know a lot of people work their nine to fives and they go into this cycle. The thing I hate the most is going into a cycle.
Speaker: 11:07
Yeah.
Speaker 1: 11:08
Going into the spiral of doing the same thing. And I know there's a lot of people out there who do work nine to five jobs and just feel frustrated with their life, and they want a way maybe out, or maybe they can do something to help their nine to five just to get better in the track. Is there anything you would do?
Speaker: 11:28
I would say, as far as that, it's all about making a schedule and maintaining the things that kind of excite you when you get home from work. Because a lot of people, when they're in that nine to five, they they get in this cycle of just working, coming home tired, and then thinking about working the next day. And they don't have this time to think about all the extra stuff that really they should. So what I'm trying to say is that you need to make something for yourself to look forward to, to kind of get out of that. And me, I I work a nine to five. I come home, and sometimes I'm tired. I used to just come home, be tired, think about work the next day. Exactly what I said. And this is what causes that burnout. Because you have nothing to look forward to. Not that you don't have any aspirations, but you don't have the energy for them. You don't make the time for them. So again, it's about making that schedule, finding the things that you like to do, and then setting time for them. Because then you instead of just coming home being like, I'm gonna rest. Today was a long day of work, you come home and you're like, Oh, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that. Like I planned for this the whole rest of my day. So that's what you you need to do as far as helping yourself is when you're in that nine to five and when you work. Because I see older people who have been doing a nine to five for most of their life, and they've been working and working, they've gotten into that cycle, they've gotten into those habits. And what ends up happening with them is all they think about is their work because they go home, they're tired, they don't want to think about their life outside of work because it's almost emotion or mentally taxing, you know. Because a lot of things like you can't just it's not that you can only be physically tired, you can also be mentally tired. And people who've been going through this cycle not knowing how to get out of it for many years. I just see them, and it's almost like an example of what not to be, not to talk bad about them or anything like that, but these are signs to look out for and also what you can do to get away from that. Really focus on what helps you have the energy to not be burnt out.
Speaker 1: 14:10
Stick to your plan too. Don't allow yourself to go into the sex mode of the second you come out of work and you did have something planned and you're like, I'm too tired. Don't allow yourself to do that because you're going to end up putting that aside and then never getting back to it. And then the next thing you know, you go back into the cycle. It's like saying, it's like trying to get out of the cycle, but then the cycle, you allow the cycle to grab you and pull you back in and say, Yeah, no, I'm good with the cycle. It's fine. Stick to your plan, enjoy life, do the things that excite you, plan out. And I'm not saying, and I know it's difficult because to start planning and to start scheduling, some people don't have that click or that mindset to just start. So maybe start with a day, two days, three days. Just take it slow. Take the baby steps that you personally need to take to get to the position where you are scheduling your week, and then the next thing you're scheduling your month, and you get excited about the things that you want to do.
Speaker: 15:13
And I'm not saying that if you don't have a schedule, your life is just gonna be dark and you know unpleasant, and you're gonna get to these this burnout. But without that kind of jump start or kind of getting the ball rolling, you it it just sets up a good foundation for yourself when you set up that schedule at first. Because then after that, it just becomes muscle memory, and you know, and then once it hits that point, then maybe you start to feel a little bit burned out again, and then bringing it back to those two or three or five plus things that you have going on that you can jump to whenever you're losing interest in this, you know, don't let the excitement of one thing escape from you because you're so focused on this one thing that is bringing you down. And you've got this.
Speaker 1: 16:13
You can do this, you know you can do this. I'm telling you that I'm me behind this mic, I've probably never met you, don't know you, but I know that if you're listening, that you're trying to push yourself forward to a new life, you're trying to help better your mental health. And you can do it, you really can. And I just want to always remind you please, please, please, please remember you are not alone. I got you. We're gonna get through this. How does that sound shiny? Sounds great. Thank you so much for talking about this topic, though. I'll catch you guys next on the next episode. See ya.