Speaker: 00:03
Hawaiian is a podcast that focuses on mental health and other aspects relating to what goes on inside a patient's health. We are by no means professionals on this field can only aim to make these conversations about mental health easier for the listener. The thing we stay here to talk about is professional advice, but must be explicitly mental. If you seek professional advice or experience symptoms of an actual mental health disorder, please contact a professional or visit your closest center for behavioral health. You are not alone. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to You R Not Hello. And this topic could be on anxiety part two. We are here with Will Black. Hello. Would you like to introduce yourself a little bit and maybe we can get started on our topic of anxiety?
Speaker 1: 00:44
Yeah, sure. Uh my name's William Black. Uh pretty good friends with Shine and Cena here. Been friends for a long time. Uh since you know middle of high school, probably. Um if you're into um conspiracies at all, we I do have a conspiracy podcast with a couple of my other friends if you're interested in that, but that's lately what I've been working on. So we'll get back into this. What is it called? It's called Three Guys All Lies, if you want to find us on Twitter, Instagram, anywhere.
Speaker: 01:10
Awesome. So you have told me that you deal with with uh anxiety and that it feels like as if you are someone who understands it better than a lot of other people do. So I gotta ask you from the beginning of when you started learning about what anxiety is and where you are now, how much has it evolved, how much has your anxiety evolved? Or is it more of how much of your knowledge on anxiety has evolved?
Speaker 1: 01:39
Um, I think it's more it's a hard, it's a hard thing to say. Like a lot of people can say like this is what anxiety is. And you know, there's doctors that say this is probably like a side effect of anxiety or you know, whatever the case may be. But I think it's more of like it it's all in your head, obviously, but how you address it is when it gets better. Understanding what anxiety is, even though you really can't understand what it is, you might relate it to like, oh, when I'm feeling like this, this is anxiety, or when I think about this, this is anxiety related. This is what's causing these thoughts. But the further you dissect those things, the further you come to uh not only understanding, you know, how maybe severe it is in yourself, but that then you can start taking the uh you know the road to fixing it.
Speaker: 02:25
I'm gonna read you the definition of anxiety and tell me if anything sticks. Anxiety is a normal, necessary, and useful mental state of apprehension about what might or might not lie ahead. It is typically occupied by an unpleasant physical sensation, jitterness, pounding heart to grab our attention. Its function is to alert us to the possibility of danger and urges us to make the necessary preparations to protect ourselves. Do you feel as if any of that definition stuck to what you have gone through?
Speaker 1: 02:53
I think it's a very accurate definition. I would disagree with it in some aspects. And in I don't like that they use the word unpleasant necessarily, because it's not always unpleasant. It it's meant to be unpleasant, it is, and that's a good thing. It's a survival instinct that humans have evolved to have anxiety is, you know, actually a good thing in some sense. And you know, like if life wasn't as easy as it as it is now, you know, like living in houses, having running water, having not having a scavenge for food, like types of things, anxiety would be a good thing because you would be worried about you have to think of worry in that sense in it's a good thing, it's your survival instinct, it's not necessarily all bad. And although it might give, you know, bad sensations like, oh, I might get hurt, or you know, something might happen that I'm not gonna like, you shouldn't let that stop you from doing it. In fact, it's I I still, even with medication for anxiety, I still get very all the time very unpleasant feelings of like I have to dissect certain situations very hard and say, like, if I were to do this, what would happen? You know, what what are the side effects of it? It could be something super dangerous, like jumping in a shopping cart and riding down a hill because it's fun. You know you're gonna fall out and get hurt. Like, you know, that'll go through your head. But even the smallest situations of like, okay, if I, you know, back back in high school, maybe you wanted to like smoke weed and you had to hide it from your parents, but your parents aren't even gonna be home. They're gone for a week. You have literally nothing to worry about. But under the slight chance that maybe your neighbor comes by, or just like there are always all these random thoughts that come into my head all the time on like every possible situation that can happen. And that leads me to think about like what will I do when they do happen? And because there are certain times, and not that situation specifically, but any situation where you know things do go downhill, or your anxiety was kind of, you know, your gut feeling telling you like this might happen, and it does. Now you know what you're gonna do. So I kind of take anxiety from being this bad thing that might that, you know, that doesn't let make you feel good, that makes you worried, and turn it into like this thing that it's helping you. And I'm trying to understand that taking anxiety and flipping it to a positive thing rather than thinking about it as a negative thing is actually helping me cope with anxiety a lot more because I still do think neg negatively about anxiety in a lot of situations, but I know personally, just you know, over the years and dealing with it that it's actually a good thing and it does help you in situations, even though it might not help you in others.
Speaker: 05:33
When did you feel as if you felt the first feeling of anxiety and then you realized, hey, this was something that's not maybe not normal, but something that's like a lot of other people might not be feeling this, or this shouldn't be something I should be feeling?
Speaker 1: 05:50
Uh it's very hard because I didn't I didn't necessarily feel it in myself right away. I started to notice and this would be back probably in like high school or something when like if I were to have gone to a doctor, they might have classified like anxiety or you know, whatever. Um, but anxiety in myself has also I'll put it like this, it it makes you wonder about other people too. And it's very weird to say that like anxiety is a personal thing to me, because to me, when I'm worried about other people, like that's also what triggers anxiety, right? Usually when you think of anxiety, it's like a personal thing, it's how you're personally dealing with it, the personal situations. But I think it makes you more responsive and understanding to other people and their situations. In maybe you're overthinking, like, is what I said to this person okay? Or you see somebody alone and they look totally fine. Maybe they like look a little off, but now I might go over and engage in that conversation and just be like, hey, what's up? And then if I pick up, you know, a vibe in their the way they're putting their words, or I might be able to pick up like some emotion in their words, I can say, hey, like, hey, are you okay? And you know, like maybe I've just helped them through something, or just talking to them, you know, made them feel a little bit better. But it's also on top of being very personal, something that has definitely helped me engage in other people and understanding is somebody else gonna like this if I do this? Is somebody else going to appreciate this? Is somebody else going to be mad at me if I do this? And I can take that into consideration when I choose to do whatever I'm gonna do.
Speaker: 07:24
What I want people to understand from this podcast is something that is very important to me. And it's understanding when you have anxiety or depression or are you feeling suicidal and these thoughts are not normal. When was it that it was something that you needed to address and you realized that this was something that I need to have figured out or I'm going to or it's going to ruin my life? Because it seems like you flipped it and made it into a positive outlook, which a lot of people, I believe, with anxiety have a difficult time doing. But I think another thing that a lot of people have a difficult time doing is understanding that they do have anxiety and that it's something that needs to be addressed. When did you address it and what what caused you to address it?
Speaker 1: 08:07
I addressed it, I believe, starting in college. It was at the time, I thought it was a combination of like things like ADHD mixed with depression, things like that, but it was actually just anxiety. Like I got on ADHD medicine for a while. I was on depression medication, and things didn't change, like things didn't get better. It was something else. And it's hard for me to say like there was this one, there's this one specific feeling or one specific event that said, okay, I need to treat anxiety. I didn't know. I I had several different medications from like depression to ADHD. And then, you know, the person I was seeing said, oh, well, let's try this. This is for anxiety and you know, high, high anxiety and stuff like that. And when I took that medicine, I was way more calm all the time, but I wasn't like brain dead. It was just I felt relaxed. And I thought, like, hey, is this normal? Like, am I supposed to be feeling this way? And she's like, well, you know, she would talk about like how you feel on anxiety. We were going over anxiety, and you know, like things started to correlate with one another. And I thought, okay, maybe this could be anxiety. And at the same time, the medicine is helping me not only perform better in school or engage in more social conversations and be okay with that because I used to be very, very introvert as a person. And only through like high school did I start like expanding. And it's, you know, part of that is from anxiety. Definitely. I think everybody has a little bit of anxiety always. You know, it's just the level of anxiety when you actually need to like address help. Like, when is that? And I can't put my finger on it. You know, maybe you really just have to focus on yourself. And, you know, if you think you might be depressed, uh, but you're actually not, if you just, even if you just think about it, you should address it and say, why am I depressed and how can I get better? And then you might find out that you're not depressed. And it's just, it was just like you had a bad day, like, no big deal. But if you are depressed, and now you know, now you know how to get better, now you know the steps, the next steps you can take, rather than just throwing in the back of your mind and denying that you're depressed or denying that you have anxiety. The sooner you look into your own head and say, This is what's going on in my head, this is you know what I'm going through. Now you can address it and take the next steps. And it, you know, everybody has their own timeline, but that's the beginning of it is just understanding what's going on in your head and actually thinking about things.
Speaker: 10:20
With disorders, we realize that they do play hand in hand with each other. So with my uh PTSD, it plays a huge hand in hand with my depression. And they both like, they both like one's the left punch and one's the right punch, and each one punches like with each other. With anxiety, do you feel any other types of like disorders or like any other types of feelings that increase your anxiety, or is it just you feel anxiety and you that's it?
Speaker 1: 10:46
Uh personally, I think depression also does play a factor into it. I think at uh even now, like I could I could be slightly depressed, not nothing major. Um, but back in high school through college, like I think there were little bits of depression at some points of like not knowing like you know what's going on with life and like not being okay with certain things. But again, the sooner like you address those things, the sooner like you can fix it. For me now, it's mostly just anxiety. You know, anytime like there's a social situation, it's just anxiety, but I'm okay with getting over it because I'm I I know I have it, I know what's in my head. I'm also getting medicated, so you know that makes it even better. Um, but the fact is until you know and understand what's going on in your head, that's that's the point where you're able to help yourself before helping anyone else.
Speaker: 11:33
I think the thing that we forget to realize about important uh how important medication is and how it can help with uh people who struggle with anxiety. But I think there's also people out there who are like, I don't want to take medication, I don't want to um feel the way that medication makes me feel, which is completely understandable. Was there a point where you realized that you needed the medication, or was there any point that you were just like, I can deal with this on myself by myself?
Speaker 1: 12:02
Yeah, there were a series of events. So through college, you know, going through uh like ADHD medicine, depression medicine, before I found like help with anxiety medicine, there was a point that I went through where like, you know, like I don't think I need this medicine anymore. And it was like 50% like I think I'm a better, I think I've improved on my anxiety, I think I don't need it. And also 50% like I don't want to take pills anymore, like I don't enjoy it, but here I am back on it. And it probably went for like two years before I had gotten back on it and had gone back to get more. But I I think everybody kind of has their own ways with that. Some people go through it, some people don't. And I went through that, and that's just my experience and timeline. But medicine does help, and it doesn't mean you always be on it. There, there might be a point where you can say, okay, like I think I'm okay. And but what medicine is meant to do is help you, right? And I know a lot of like people have things like, oh, well, the medicine's overpriced and they're just trying to sell you, you know, a quick solution, like a band-aid. You have to keep buying them. It's not gonna permanently fix you. And yes, it's not gonna permanently fix you right away, um, if it does, but when you do take medication, it lets you address the situation even further. Now, you know, what's on your mind is there's less on your mind about your anxiety and less stress from the anxiety is what I was saying, or rather. Um, so you can think about anxiety more in a sense of like, so how can I get better? rather than how do I avoid this? So then once you go through that process of thinking, how do I get better? You progressively improve. And then at that point, that's when you could stop medication and you'd be done. You wouldn't need it anymore. So I feel like some people need medication to get to that point, um, but then they can get off of it. And then some people might be, it might be very severe and they can never get off of it. But you know, everybody's different. But I think the first step you should take in realizing it is just talking to somebody and addressing what you have. Because if you don't understand what you have, then you're never going to be able to fix it.
Speaker: 14:03
What are some natural remedies that you use for yourself that medication will, I mean, medication does help, but was there anything else like that you could possibly help other people um understand what to do when they do get like episodes of anxiety attacks or something like that? And could you also explain what an anxiety attack feels like, what's it like, and uh how you understood that, hey, this is an anxiety attack.
Speaker 1: 14:26
Yeah, I feel like there's like a couple differences in like attacks. Like there's kind of an anxiety, there's an anxiety attack, which I feel like let's just say anxiety is like a one out of ten feeling. An anxiety attack is maybe like a five out of ten bad feeling where like you're not necessarily panicking, but maybe you're breathing and your heart rate picks up and you're just worried about what's gonna happen, or overly worried about something you shouldn't be overly worried about, but to a severe degree. Um, and then there's like a full-blown panic attack. And in in my life, I've only had two panic attacks, and both of them happened at like in the middle of the night. There's I can't, I don't know how to describe it because I would wake up at like three in the morning and just I was unable to breathe. I was just overwhelming feeling of anxiety and chest tightness and breathing fast. I had to like call my mother upstairs and I couldn't, I just couldn't speak to her. I was just rocking back and forth um on my chair and just saying, like, I can't, I can't calm down. I just can't calm down, I just can't calm down. And I I couldn't. And uh it it last, it only lasted for like 10, 15 minutes. And then after it was done, it was done. Like I felt fine. But that they came out of nowhere. And I panic attacks do come out of nowhere. Um, in that sense, it came out of nowhere. But I know that, you know, they might have some root causes, people might struggle with them differently or have them more often uh for that matter. But most of the things that I do, if I ever do have it have some type of anxiety episode or just feel it becoming progressively worse, is avoid the situation for the time being. Maybe, you know, like you're in a very social situation and you're around a lot of people and you don't like that a lot. Doesn't mean like don't try, you know, but try slowly, maybe avoid the conversation, you know, run to the bathroom real quick and just calm down. You're by yourself in there. Um, and then go back and, you know, try to, you know, introduce yourself back in slowly. Or if you're already by yourself and you're just having some self-motivated panic attack, just do something you enjoy doing. Maybe you enjoy playing video games or reading a book or you know, putting on some good music, maybe you enjoy meditation. Um, but whatever, you know, whatever situation you're in, it's good to just avoid that situation for the like the time being, the short time being, because you don't want to always just say, like, okay, let's go to this party. And every party you go to, you're like, nope, don't like it. I'm not going because you're feeling anxiety. You still want to give yourself a chance to adapt to those things. And that's what will further also help your anxiety is getting used to new things.
Speaker: 16:51
So you said that going to the bathroom, being alone, take is it taking deep breaths, does is there things that will you could tell people to naturally think about that could help them? Like with my PTSD, the one thing I like to tell myself is hey, this is um a memory, this is a flashback. Pull yourself into the moment, into the now, count back from 10, take a deep breath, and come back, and you'll be okay. Is there anything that you would do that would you would recommend to somebody that has worked for you?
Speaker 1: 17:27
Personally, I can't answer that because I don't know. The things that I do when I'm in those situations are usually like it's like somebody talking to you in your in one ear and it goes out the other. You don't really remember what you do. You don't really all you care about is kind of getting away and freeing yourself from that feeling. So I think what what and what a lot of doctors recommend too is just, you know, like what you said, take deep breaths, avoid the situation for a short time, you know, remind yourself nothing's happening, it's okay, like it it's going to be okay. Um, things like that. Uh but again, also I like to do things where I get more personal with myself and do things that I enjoy and just take my mind completely off of it and, you know, come back to it later if it's something that it needs to come back to.
Speaker: 18:10
So as you progress from where you first started and now where you are now and you've seen yourself evolve with anxiety, do you believe anxiety will always be with you for the rest of your life? Or do you think it's something that you will finally just be like, I'm I'm over this, I don't have anxiety anymore?
Speaker 1: 18:27
Um, I think it's possible to just eventually someday get rid of it and it'd be gone. And, you know, that might be very advanced to do, but I don't think that's a good idea because I think, like I said, anxiety is also a a good thing with this feeling of like hatred, but it shouldn't be treated that way. You know, when people first begin with anxiety, like it sucks. It really sucks because you don't know how to deal with it. But the further you come along with it, you actually realize that anxiety is your friend. It helps you in certain situations. And it not not only that is it, it makes you more responsive to other people's emotions and your ability to tell what somebody's feeling and and what is that, empathy. You know, it it's it makes social interaction so much better for me because you know, people could be talking about things that I don't know, I don't know anything about, or talk about like you with your P PTSD and the things that cause it. And I can I can feel what you're feeling without because of anxiety, and that's weird to say, I don't, you know, if that makes sense, but because of that, I can personally feel how this is gonna make you feel. And like I said before, any other social situations, you can pick up on vibes that people might not be feeling the best, or like you might notice just the tiniest thing off about somebody and be able to address a problem that they're having. And not only that, you're because you're suffering a little bit and getting these feelings, you're helping somebody else. Right. So it even though it's kind of like a weird way that I think about it is that sometimes I suffer a little bit so that somebody else's life can be better.
Speaker: 19:60
100%. I agree with you. I would have to say something about like my depression would be is me and my depression have evolved for a long time. And now when I am feeling depressed, I used to like uh displace my anger against my friends and I would make them mad and I would find ways to hurt them because I was feeling depressed. But now that I've evolved when I feel depressed, I understand that feeling. And I understand that maybe having that, maybe having a conversation with a friend right now is not the best time, or I can put things aside and understand my depression better so that I can keep evolving with it and that I can get a control of it. I think the thing that people have the most difficulty with is controlling something that they deal with, and they feel as if like anxiety, depression, PTSD are things that they can control when you really can control them, because they are thoughts in your head and they are they are gonna make you who you are to this day. I have to say, I wouldn't be here without my depression and my PTSD. I wouldn't, because of the struggle, I've learned to become better.
Speaker 1: 20:58
Yeah, it really evolves you. That's a big thing.
Speaker: 21:01
So would you just leave off on the last thing? If if evolving is so important to us, is there any way that you could help and or tell somebody who's dealing with anxiety right now and thinks of it as a bad thing and how they can switch their mindset from it being a bad thing to a good thing and using it to their um I guess control and using it for the better?
Speaker 1: 21:26
So the best way to see something work in a different way is to physically see that happen, right? So before I talked about kind of like the stories I had where whatever situation I was was in, maybe it was, you know, not the best situation I would think of, but but like a fun but dangerous situation. You think about something like bad that might happen, and then you this that thing does happen and you're prepared. And that's where I kind of began to feel like this appreciation for anxiety because I physically saw it in front of me working. Yes, this it might have prevented me from going to jail or prevented me from breaking. My leg, but because of that, because I physically saw it happen, that's what really led me to you know get that mindset switch and do like anxiety is a good thing. I would have been way screwed, way way more screwed up if I just ignored it. Um, but that it's hard because not everybody gets that. You know, some people have it more severe or even less, and they don't have those situations. Um, so I can't really speak on like different situations, but that's just how it happened for me.
Speaker: 22:29
Awesome. I really appreciate you coming onto our podcast and explaining a little bit more about your anxiety. It really helps out the people that are struggling with different things out there. And if you are struggling out there, I do want to remind you please, please, please, please remember you are not alone. We will help you through this. How does that sound real? I loved being here and I enjoyed talking about it. Awesome. Can't wait to see all more episodes. Catch you guys later.